She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
please come you make the beer taste better
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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