Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
