He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
two words...techno handjob
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
