Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
