this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
