that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
