the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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