wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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