If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
