White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
