I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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