don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
