this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
