Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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