Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
