Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
