This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
