i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize