Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
