You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well you can't waste a boner
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
