i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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