you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
