But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
