I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize