I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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