WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Blood and glitter go together right?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
