I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
