Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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