Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
