I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
