Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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