i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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