remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
