Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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