Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think my moral compass just broke
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
