I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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