just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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