Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
