Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
