it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I supernannyed him into submission
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
