tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
