i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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