a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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