dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
