Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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