just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he fucked my hip out of place.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize