Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
