I wish I only lived at night.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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