i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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