There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
