I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
