I puked a lego.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
