Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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