so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
