I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
