Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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