Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
