Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
