there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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