After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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